Haute Mom Must-Haves For Fall

I like to shop my closet. It's quick, convenient, and FREE! But I had a serious Oh Shit moment the other day when I sifted through piece after piece and realized, none of it fits me! Not SIZE-wise BUT STYLE-wise.  All these tops I used to prance around in without a bra, out the window (at least while I remain an E cup) and those itsy-bitsy denim-cutoffs?! They just feel so....uhhhh....YOUNG!  Bright pink wedges?  No can do.  And then it came...the breakdown.  Holy crap, I'm OLD! I'm nothing but an old....boring...Mom.  But then it hit me.  The old me, actually,  the much younger me, decked in micro-minis, crop tops and 10-inch platforms (seriously) may be changed, but certainly not gone.  That wide-eyed, excited, rebellious, youthful spirit is still very much alive, just expressed in a different, more elegant way. I remind myself,  life is all about change.  If we don't change, we die.  Plain and simple.  So it's time to embrace the transformation and love my 30's as a new Haute Mommy.  This story seems even more fitting seeing as summer has turned to fall, the leaves are changing, temps cooling and style evolving.  It's out with the old, in with the new, a wonderful thing to celebrate!  So while I continue hacking through my closet getting rid of, frankly, a lot of crap, I begin filling it with new pieces; really beautiful clothing that's still sexy but sophisticated and always on-trend.  That said, here are my 7 Fall Must-Haves that I recommend for EVERY Haute Mom.

1. Pencil Skirt www.oldnavy.com

2. Faux Leather Pants www.hm.com Or Leather Pants www.ralphlauren.com Polo for Ralph Lauren Women

3.  Tailored Blazer www.zara.com

4. Over-The-Knee Boots www.stuartweitzman.com

5. Something Blue www.gap.com

6. Bad-Ass Booties www.ralphlauren.com

7. Rip-Torn Jeans www.geneticlosangeles.com  

PWD: Pumping While Driving

Pumping is a damn burden...and about as exciting as watching paint dry.  Now that I think of it, I always feel like I'm in "time-out" when it's time to pump because I'm literally stuck in a corner, on the floor, with this alien-like contraption attached to my tatas counting down the minutes until the milk hits the top.  But ladies, that's all about to change...Thanks to the winners of MIT's "Make Breast Pump Not Suck Hacathon."  It's the brand spanking new "Mighty Mom" Breast Pumping Tool Belt.  In a sentence, this invention is a concealable, portable belt that carries bottles and a pump and can be worn while doing just about anything...including driving!!!  And here I thought the hands-free pump bra was genius!  They've got some serious competition.  Check it out... http://betaboston.com/news/2014/09/22/breastpump-hackathon-winners-build-batman-inspired-mighty-mom-belt/

The Key To Living Longer? The Tortoise Vs. The Human Vs. The Hound

  Sorry to get all serious on yall'z but....Did you know a giant tortoise will live 100+ years on average, while humans' lifespan is around 78.5 (give or take) and sadly our beloved fury friends are with us just a small fraction of that. But why?  Well, turns out, it could have something to do with the number of breaths we take. Now let's get one thing straight, I'm no Doc, wouldn't survive another day of school if I tried, but I do pay attention to basic logic so when I heard this theory, the light bulb went off.

Dogs breathe approximately 24 breaths in a minute Humans = about 12-20 breaths in a minute Tortoises breathe in 4 breaths per minute and they live longest.

Point is, if we as humans, consciously slow down our breathing, taking longer, deeper breaths, will that promote greater relaxation and an overall calmness, creating a longer lifespans for us?! Perhaps it's just one factor, but certainly a crucial one.  After all, we know stress is a one BIG killer. So, we here at Haute Moms Club enlist all you heroic ladies today on this #HauteMommyMonday to do something special for YOURSELF. Whether it's an at-home facial, an online purchase (F#%* Me Pumps, duh),  a shower,  a bath, for gawd sakes, a Real Housewives episode or 5...take some time to celebrate yourself, and most of all, just breathe.

Posh Baby

Baby Driving Loafers?!  Need...I...Say...More!?  Ok, just a couple things.  With Milan Fashion Week right around the corner, it seems only fitting to feature an Italian brand that blows our minds here at Haute Moms Club.  Become familiar with Dolly by Le Petit Tom http://www.lepetittom.nl The clothing is ridiculously adorbs, (see Kourtney's Kutie, Penelope, rocking their pearled cardigan) but it's the shoes, the baby driving loafers in particular, that have our tongues seriously wagging.  Take a gander...and remember, this may be a splurge but what better way to do so!?  All the loafers are around $70.  Enjoy

Fries - Fat = Friggin Perfection!

There are few things in life I crave more than piping-hot, crispy french fries and truthfully,  they were basically the only real things I could stomach during my pregnancy.  5 months of the gagging, barfing sleeping, crying on repeat with no real reprieve.  But finally when I began to emerge as half a human again it became very clear, very fast that fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner wouldn't exactly cut it for several reasons, starting with clogged arteries and ending with a shit ton of cottage cheese on my already expanding thighs.  Speaking of which, cottage cheese would have been a perfectly suitable pregnancy snack but let's face it ladies, when salty goodness is what we want salty goodness is WHAT WE GET! Sheesh :) So....I discovered a GENIUS fry substitution that satisfied even the pickiest of pregnant gals. Introducing: POLENTA FRIES!!! This semi-homeade recipe is cheap, easy, a total crowd pleaser and super healthy.  So while my love of fries is up there with my feelings for The Grateful Dead, date night w my hubby, and Chanel, at least I know I can satisfy this sinful craving with a a simple, sensational solution.

McDonald's medium fries:  365 calories, 17 grams of fat,  a whole lotta guilt

Polenta fries:  150 calories, 3 grams of fat, a whole lotta deliciousness (Vegan, Gluten-free and tastes amaz with ketchup)

Here's the recipe.  Lemme know what you think

1 (18-ounce) log Trader Joe's Organic Polenta http://www.traderjoes.com

1-2 tablespoons olive oil (your call)

2 teaspoons garlic powder (optional)

1 tablespoon dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Prepare polenta by cutting into 1/2-inch discs, then strips (about 3 to 4 strips per disc).  In a small bowl, whisk the olive oil, garlic powder (if you choose) and oregano to combine.  Gently toss even layer on the baking sheet.  Sprinkle with sea salt  Bake until slightly browned and crisp on edges, 35 to 40 minutes, flipping halfway through one time.  Serve with ketchup.  Makes 4 servings.