Moms Need Moms

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When I first had babies, life changed tremendously but my group of friends didn't.  I was one of the first to become a mom but that didn't stop me from calling my girls, spending time together, going out, essentially, living life as a single when we expanded into a Quadruple.  

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Truth is, I thought I didn't need a new group of friends, certainly not boring suburban mom-friends who'd talk endlessly about spit-ups, slip-ups, poop, patty-cake, sleepless nights, sexless days bla bla bla.  Oh, and trying to find the time to get together-- not just coordinating my own kids' schedules but now having to work around another family's naps and routines too??  Uh, no thanks.  

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Well, all that changed once I (reluctantly) began a mommy-and-me class with my first, Gibson.  Within moments, I knew this was the place for me/us.  Moms were sharing their own stories -- yes about potty training and nap times but also we shared laughs...lots and lots of laughs...about things only a mother can relate to.  It became a safe and hilarious environment for us to have adult conversation and feel normal again during a whirlwind time in life.  Cherry on top - my kid wasn't yanking at me to come play with him - he actually had other little people to connect with.  Victory!

Over time, this tribe of mamas who I literally met day one has become a hugely important part of mine and my children's lives.  We chat at drop-off, workout, have afternoon (I-want-to pull-my-hair-out) drinks, do playdates, and most of all, lend love and support to each other when others just don't get it.  And while my new community of mommies has even hung with my "old" friends it's been nuttin but love...mainly, because they each bring something totally different to the table.  Initially, I was anti finding a circle of moms to make my own but I've learned over time they are the final puzzle piece in helping me love life as a parent - poop and all.

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25 Things We Should Say To Our Children Everyday

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My mom sent over this article from Red Tricycle the other day.  Usually she'll email me the latest clippings of local murders, man-who-falls-overboard-for-taking-risky-instagram-photo or some new finding on why parents today suck and can't have it all.  "Adrianna, your generation thinks you can just go to work all day and have nannies raise your children.  What kind of success are you setting them up for?  Don't be surprised if you end up with a wild partier on your hand who loves bad boys and refuses to follow rules."  Oh, you mean me???  Wait, Weren't you a stay-at-home mom??  Ok right, just checking"  

Anywhooooo so when I came upon this link she sent over I was pleasantly surprised because it felt like such a departure for her.  Red Tri does a stellar job of breaking down the 25 Things We Should Say To Our Children EveryDay.  A lot of it seems basic, mindless in fact but that's just it.  These things are so part of our normal conversations - often with adults, that it's easy to skip over and forget when dealing with children.  

Here's one- "How Are You?"  Literally, how often do you ask your littles that? Seems like a decent start to any conversation but when your day begins before the sun rises, it's easy to forget.  So, check out the list below and hopefully we can find a way to incorporate a few into our daily routines.  Perhaps this will help "our generation" raise kind and adjusted children...even IF we work long hours :)

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1. Eat something healthy with your snack. Because let’s face it, not all snacks are healthy. Dr. Katharine Kersey, professor of early childhood education at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Va., suggests reminding kids that we all need to eat healthy so our bodies will be strong.

2. Tell me one good thing that happened today. Focusing on the positive helps keep the bad stuff at bay.

3. Tell me one bad thing that happened today. It’s important to talk about the bad stuff too.

4. I’m proud of you for doing XYZ. Something about a kiddo hearing someone is proud of them has a big impact. Think of one positive thing and tell your little one about it.

5. How are you? Asking your kiddo how she feels shows that you are interested in them. Brandi Russell, pediatric occupational therapist and parenting coach, recommends checking in with your little ones just as you would a spouse or friend.

6. What would you do? This is a great response to kids always asking for help with things. Empower them while giving yourself a break.

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7. What nice thing did you do or say today? Encourage kindness by reinforcing it daily.

8. Nothing will change my love for you. This phrase may seem self-evident, but sometimes kids need you to state the obvious. Rebecca Eans, bestselling author and founder of positive-parents.org, believes you can’t go wrong with this loving reminder.

9. I like it when you … Even when the kids are driving you crazy, there’s always at least one thing they did that made you smile.

10. I like you. Kids may hear the words “I love you” on a regular basis, but do they know you like them too?

11. Please. If we want respect as parents, then we need to show that same behavior to our kids. Dr. John DeGarmo, a national foster parent coach, advocates parents should always say “please” and “thank you” to to model respectful behavior.

12. Clean up your toys, dishes, or whatever is left out. Encourage kids to take ownership for cleaning up their belongings, said Maureen Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids. Even if it’s just one or two items a day, it will help you in the long run.

13. That’s smart thinking. Sometimes hearing you’re smart is even more powerful than telling a kid they look cute.

14. Don’t let mean people define who you are. There will always be bullies in life. This simple phrase helps kids know the negative voices are not the most important.

15. I’m proud of you. They know you love them. But do they know you’re proud of them too? Dr. Sherrie Campbell, clinical psychologist and author, believes those words are just as important as affirmations of love to kids.

16. Thank you. Social skills and courtesy are important in the home and outside of it.

17. I’m sorry. We all lose our temper or make mistakes. Dr. Alison Mitzner, a pediatric specialist, believes what’s important is how we react.

18. Just be yourself. Teach your kids they’re enough, and they never have to be anyone else.

19. Do your best. It’s not about the result. It’s about how you get there.

20. Always tell the truth, even if it’s not great. The sooner kids know you’ll still love them after hearing the truth—even if it’s not great—the more truthful they’ll be as they grow.

21. I’m listening. What do you want to say? According to Katie Hurley, LCSW, 57% of girls say they don’t always tell their parents certain things about them because they don’t want them to think badly of them. Show your kids you do care what they have to say by demonstrating you want to listen to them share information with you.

22. You don’t have to eat it. It’s tough to deal with picky eaters. Instead of fighting with your kids to eat their veggies, give them the power to say no and be in control. But don’t provide an alternative meal choice or dessert either.

23. I love being with you. Amy McCready is a parenting educator who believes encouraging words and phrases go a long way to help your kids feel safe and secure. Telling your little one how you love being with them is a great positive affirmation they’ll never tire of hearing.

24. You make me happy. Because everyone wants to feel like they matter to someone else.

25. I love you. They may be simple, but Jennifer Wolf, a PCI certified parent coach, believes there’s really no substitute for these powerful words.

— Leah R. Singer

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NEWEST STROLLER OBSESH...

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Picking a stroller is like finding a man.  So many out there but tough to score the right one.  Well mamas look no further, we've discovered a new baby ride that you'll def want to spend the rest of your life with.  It's by UPPAbaby, called MINU (pronounced "min-you") and it's everything you look for in a ride-or-die.

Here's what sold us:

1. Easily collapsable. literally you can push a button with your left hand while holding your babe in the right. Voila! 

2. 14 Pounder.  Ok I know all you Super Moms out there think that's nothing -- but that's just it, it's NOTHING -- no lugging, dragging, chucking with this one.  It's quick, easy and no problem to "throw" in the trunk

3. Use/Re-Use.  Minu is suitable for babies 3-months old all the way to 50 pounds.  You can pass around amongst your kids.

4. Lay Flat.  That's like asking if I want to travel coach or first-class?  This stroller is super lux offering the option to recline all the way.

5. Storage.  Under the seat, there's a sizable space for bringing along stuff since all moms have lots of STUFF.  Snacks, diapers, wipes, keys, purses, makeup, whatever you want.

For more info -  check out my Instagram TV Review @adriannacosta or click here to hear from the masterminds behind the Minu:

https://uppababy.com/minu/overview/

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AN INSIDERS GUIDE TO LEGOLAND (THANK US LATER :)

ARRIVE 

Bright and early to beat the summer heat and crowds.  Park opens 9am.

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WEAR

Layers for easy changes throughout the day.  Light colors to keep cool.

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Snacks, Sunblock, Diapers, Milk, Water, Hats, Bandaids, Change Of Clothes...Think of what you'd bring to a deserted island for 24 hours.  Pack that...and then a little libation for you.

RIDE

FOR US, LEGO TECHNIC COASTER

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For Them

Ninjago

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EAT

Banh Mi at Ninja Kitchen or garden-fresh, organic fare at The Garden Deli + Cafe.  More Weho less Lego.  

SPLURGE ON

Reserve 'N' Ride Passes. 

Guests with Reserve 'N' Ride receive a hand held device that lets you make ride reservations from anywhere in the Park so you won't have to wait in those long, dreaded lines.  Prices may vary but when we went they were around $55 per person.  3 and under = Free

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STAY

LEGOLAND HOTEL

Valid for stays Now - Aug 19 and Aug 31 - Sept 3, 2018

SAVE up to $15 on 2-Day Resort Hopper tickets (2nd Day is FREE!)

Exclusive Early Access to LEGOLAND on both days

Special Welcome Gift for the kids

Rates starting from $139 per person*

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HAVE FUN!!!

 

 

TRAVELING WITH TOTS: A HAUTE MOM'S GUIDE TO MAKING EVERY TRIP TEAR-FREE

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It's 4th of July which means you're probably on a plane to some exotic island with your honey, laying out, cocktails, cool breeze, not a care in the world.  Okay, now let's get real...you're making way through a crowded, stressful security line, en route to your mother-in-law's in Boca, two tots-in-tow screaming and yelling, luggage falling all over the place and your husband rolling his eyes at you in complete disapproval of your "incompetence".  

Travel can be so traumatic causing serious anxiety, for us, them and the pissed-off people around us.  Here at Haute Mom's Life, we've surveyed moms in our community, celebrities and experts and have compiled a list...highlighting the best of the best on how you can make it through those long, treacherous days of planes, trains and automobiles -- Tear Free.  Note to Self- mini Titos = a must for every adult.

Click the link below for a full roundup and if you don't have the time, here's a list.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t-x9p8FUNTOiydjsOcuKzeYx02rfqAio/view