I was counting down the days until our first trip away. Vegas, my best friend’s wedding, Bloody Mary’s by the adult pool rather than bouncing babies at the kiddy pool. It was time for us to be kids again. I created this vision in my head for months leading up to our actual trip that I’d finally recharge my flickering battery (In Vegas?? Really??) returning more grounded, restored and present with a gleaming little boy at the front door chomping at the bit to greet me and jump back into my arms. Wow was I in for a surprise.
I returned home more exhausted ever (duh, it’s VEGAS!) and my baby wouldn’t even so much as look in my direction. I kneeled down to pick him up, overwhelmed to see how much he’d grown in literally 72 hours…first thing he did was push me away and reach out for my dad, who – along with my mom- stayed our place to watch him while we were livin it up. This continued all day, into the next. I was convinced, my kid hates me. And the guilt sets in. Maybe we should’ve only gone for 2 nights, maybe Gibson should have come with us…maybe maybe maybe… My mom assured me it was just “a phase” and “would pass”
We all know it’s tough to balance life as a mom and still manage to take time for ourselves whether it be a wknd away with the hubs or an afternoon to lunch with the ladies or 30 minutes to shower and blow dry our hair. I’m not one who’s willing to totally give up on myself and my needs ONLY to focus on the needs of my little guy. I believe we can do both and actually have it all. It’s true, my son comes first ALWAYS but I follow closely behind.
It was now 48 hours since coming back from our sinful wknd in Sin City. My son was slowly warming up to me and I could feel bit by bit his walls start to break down. At Mommy and Me that day, our teacher asked if anything new had taken place over weekend. Oh you mean other than my child tossing me to the side like an old, used-up toy?? Her response: “It’s totally normal.” What? For your child to hate you?! I’d never heard of this but then she explained that babies will often give parents the cold shoulder for up to 48 hours after they return from being away. Babies are confused, scared and not sure if you’ll leave them again so they instinctually put up a wall to perhaps protect themselves. This made total sense. Gibson was just acting as nature instructed him to…even if it was at my expense.
Fast forward to now, today- one week later. I can’t seem to suction my child off my hip. He’s back to being a total mamas boy – until next week that is. Palm Springs, another friend’s wedding, 2 nights away. At least I’m prepared this time.